5 Things To Look For in a Great sex and relationship coach

As with any industry, there’s many great and not-so-great people promoting themselves as sex and relationship coaches. The Instagram world is now saturated with people labelling themselves in this way, and yet often lacking the relevant experience and training to work in the field effectively and safely. Here’s a guide for those looking for a great coach, or people wanting to explore a career in the industry.

Relevant study and training.

Relevant study and training is important. In fact in my opinion, it’s a must. I’m not talking a 2 day weekend course, a brief online certification, or a 7 day ‘Tantra training’. I’m talking relevant study and training that teaches real-life coaching and/or therapy skills on how to work with and support people effectively, specifically specialising in the area of sex and relationships. It’s okay to ask a new coach for qualifications (hint: don’t accept ‘I’m a life coach and just love sex!’ as a relevant one).

Life experience.

Life experience is absolutely ESSENTIAL and quite possibly THE most important thing to look for. The best coaches are people who are WALKING THE TALK and who are truly committed to lifelong learning in their own personal life.

Ideally you want a coach who has spent years exploring sex, love and relating before even beginning their career. You want someone who admits they've had lots of challenges along the way, too! Challenges are absolute gold as a coach, they support deep understanding, empathy and compassion.

The more experience the better! The more relationships the better! The more sex the better (and goes without saying, lots of different types of sex, too).

All of the above is real-life study and is absolutely priceless. Ideally I would choose a coach with a bunch of experience under their belt (pardon the pun). Controversial, but in my experience, the older the coach the better (plus they have more experience in the industry). You can’t put a price on age-old wisdom. And FYI, it’s okay to ask a coach about their relevant life experience and age! If they don’t want to share, they may not be the right coach for you.

Inclusivity.

Find a coach who is inclusive with their language, study and interests, as well as with their personal exploration of sex and relating.

If you’re in a same-sex relationship, seek out a coach who has experienced and explored this dynamic themselves (not essential, but most definitely a bonus!) If you want a coach to support you in exploring polyamory, seek out someone who has explored it themselves and understands the different dynamics and lingo. Need support navigating heartbreak or divorce? Find a coach who has experienced heartbreak and divorce too. Want support navigating libido post childbirth? Seek out a coach who is a Mother and has traversed this in their own lives. I truly believe there’s nothing richer than experience, I can’t say this enough.

A holistic approach.

Sex isn’t just about sex, it’s about SO MUCH MORE than that. Relationship challenges aren’t just about relationships, they are impacted by many different aspects of LIFE as a whole. A holistic approach is an absolute must!!

Trust your intuition.

Someone can have all the qualifications and client testimonials (and Instagram followers) in the world, but you may not feel it. In your head they seem like 'the perfect coach', but your heart and intuition are a big NO. Trust your intuition! Seek out a coach who you resonate with and who feels like a full body YES! It's okay to shop around, too.