6 Secrets of Tantric Lesbian Sex

Is Tantric sex a ‘thing’ for women who have sex with women? How can we have deeper intimacy and ecstatic sex on a regular basis? My sex life with my woman is stale, how can I bring back the excitement?

Every week I get questions from women who have sex with women about how they can experience better, more connected sex (on a regular basis). I myself have explored the world of Tantra with a female lover, and so I’m here to impart some secrets I’ve learnt along the way about Tantric lesbian sex.

#1 Sex is NOT about the end goal of clitoral orgasm

All too often we fall into the trap of chasing the big ‘O’. Fact is, if we are focussed on the end goal of a peak clitoral orgasm, we’re missing out on the opportunity of deep connection and intimacy with our woman.

When we take the focus off clitoral orgasm, we begin to notice subtle sensations in our body that are actually all orgasmic sensations. And so, when we expand our definition of orgasm, our experience of orgasm expands, and more often than not we begin to experience deeper, whole body orgasmic experiences, and a greater intimacy and depth of love than ever before.

#2 Connect at all three centres

If you want to experience Tantric sex with your woman, I encourage you to redefine what sex is for you as a couple - begin to approach sex as an opportunity to deeply connect at all three centres - your sex centre, your heart centre, and your consciousness. When we connect at ALL three centres the sex goes from good, to ecstatic.

#3 Create a beautiful sacred space

Traditional Tantric sex is often very ritualistic and ceremonial. Set up a beautiful space in your home where you wish to connect with your woman. I encourage the use of sage and palo santo to cleanse the space, alongside the use of crystals, incense, candles, music etc. Make sure the space is clear of any junk and items that don’t serve you. Make this space sacred.

#4 Create a dance between the masculine and feminine energy within you both

Tantra believes that we all (whether we are in a female or male body) have the masculine and feminine (yin and yang) energy within us. The masculine energy is penetrative, holds space, is deeply present, and witnesses without judgement. The feminine is soft, surrendered, vulnerable and receives.

In sex between two women it’s important that there’s polarity between the women. This means one woman is more in her ‘feminine’, and the other is more in her ‘masculine’. Of course, there can be a dance between the two. This concept took me a few months to understand and even longer to truly master with my female lover … but incorporating this into our love making completely transformed our sex life!

#5 Allow emotion to flow

I used to think that I had to ‘be’ sexy when I was having sex … what I wasn’t taught was how to allow ALL emotion to flow through me whilst making love … this is truly the series thing a woman can do. When sexual energy is flowing, and deep intimacy is felt, we can often feel sadness, anger, betrayal … all sorts of emotion floats up to the surface, and it’s okay to express that! Allow the tears to flow, the anger to roar … in Tantric sex ALL is welcome.

#6 Breathe

Incorporating breath into sex is life-changing. Aim to breathe together, syncing with each other’s breath … becoming one. When you feel heightened and turned on, use the breath to move the sexual energy up from your sex centre and into your heart space … this will deepen your heart connection, create more electricity between you both, and heighten orgasmic sensations.