The Sexologist's Hand Job Guide
I have to admit, handjobs haven't always been my forte. In fact it was only 6 years ago when I met Nick that I started learning about how to give a good one ;)
6 years on I can confidently say I'm pretty damn good at them, and confident, too. So today I'm here to share my personal tips and tricks (as per your requests in the comments here).
But before I launch into my saucy tips, here's a little story about how I learnt to be SO GOOD.
Early on in our relationship Nick expressed his love for hand jobs. I was like 'Uh oh, this ain't my forte, and I'm supposed to be the sexologist. Shit'. (I didn't say that, I thought it, lol). So I was honest with him, and told him I didn't feel that confident in this area of sex, and that I'd love him to show me how he liked it.
As you can imagine, this was a huge turn on for him; teaching a new lover how to pleasure his cock. So we got to it, he showed me what he liked, and I began practicing. Turns out I was a natural ;) And before long I found myself giving them all the time because it turned me (and him) on so much!
So here's my top tips:
*Remember every penis owner likes different things, so it's important that you ask your lover what they want, and what they enjoy. Not all tips will be right for every lover, so don’t be afraid to ask.
Start slow. Don't race to the finish line by grabbing his cock and rubbing up and down with haste. Build momentum. Tease him with soft strokes around his balls, perineum, anus and inner thighs. Even a few little kisses in all the right places will warm him up. Then gently and with intention, move to his cock. Softly. Slowly. You want him to really want more, and want it bad! You want him to be begging for it.
Use lube. Invest in a good quality lubricant. My absolute favourite is regular organic coconut oil, which you can find in all good grocery and health food stores. If that’s not your thing, find a natural lubricant that you love.
Lubricant helps your hands glide up and down and creates comfort and less friction. Yes, you can give a hand job dry (my other forte, lol), or use spit. But adding oil-based lube is my preference.
Play with different pressures. Your partner may love really firm pressure, or prefer it softer. Each penis enjoys different touch. Ask him what he enjoys, and encourage him to share what he loves. And listen to his body language and sounds. You may apply a certain type of pressure and he moans (this is a great sign, keep going!), or his breathing increases in pace. Notice his body signals.
Show the head some love. Don't just focus on the shaft, touch the head of the penis. There's a whole heap of nerve-endings in the head of the penis, which leads to a lot of pleasure when it's being touched.
Here’s one of my fave techniques - put the tip of your thumb and pointer finger together to form a circle. Now in a round motion, move that circle around the head of his penis (rotating at your wrist). Play with pressure and see how he responds.
Don't be afraid to use both hands. Alternate between hands. I enjoy 'reverse grip', which means I grip the penis in the reverse way to what you'd expect (this is always a winner). You can also use BOTH hands at the same time - one at the top, the other at the bottom of the cock. Or one on the cock, the other touching his balls/anus/perineum.
Make is a BJ/HJ combo. Yep, add in kissing and sucking the tip of his penis, while you use your hands to touch the shaft and balls. This is guaranteed pleasure.
Keep it simple. Do not try every trick in the book. Stick to 3-4 good moves max, and instead experiment with pressure. You'll very soon get to know what he loves, and what he doesn't. And it won't take long before you're feeling more confident! Remember, practice makes perfect.
One last thing. If your partner takes a while to ejaculate (and ejaculation is the goal for him), I recommend asking him what he enjoys most, and what ‘gets him off’ when he’s masturbating. Remember though, having to cum doesn’t need to be a goal of hand jobs, it can be a lead up to other types of sex! Also, the pressure of having to cum’ can lead to a guy being up in his head, worried that he won’t, or that he’ll ‘take too long’. If you’re not enjoying giving the hand job, or he takes a while and it frustrates you, then stop, and move onto something else.
