What is Kink? An Expert Guide to Sexual Exploration for Beginners and the Curious
What is kink? - a kink is a sexual interest that is outside of the ordinary. Of course, what qualifies as ordinary sex – or vanilla sex – varies by person, as well as cultural context, and so does what qualifies as kinky.
It’s entirely subjective, some individuals might say they have a doggy style kink because they like to hit it from the back, for instance. Meanwhile, others might say they’re kink because whips and chains excite them. Still, about half the population reports having an interest in at least one non-vanilla sex act.
Note however, that a kink is different from a fetish. While a kink expresses an interest in a sexual act, a fetish is a fixation on an object or body part for sexual gratification.
To put it simply, a kink is something you do to get turned on, while a fetish is a thing you need to get turned on.
Semantics of kink versus fetish aside, there’s no shortage of things people might be into in the bedroom (or, uh, dungeon).
With all of the kinks out there the list truly goes on, but here are some of the most commonly searched and enjoyed!
BDSM
Bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism, and masochism (BDSM) is a form of kinky sex that explores power dynamics from spanking and flogging to role-playing and restraint. When BDSM is entered into consciously, it can be a beautiful, raw and authentic journey where pleasure intertwines with consent. It's about embracing the wild side of sex with honesty and mutual respect.
Rimming
Also known as ‘Analingus’, involves orally stimulating the anus and surrounding areas – which has thousands of sensitive nerve endings. This adds a unique sensation and an extra layer of intimacy, and for some, a touch of naughtiness to sexual exploration.
Group sex
Encompasses any sexual activity involving more than two people – threesomes, orgies, group BDSM scenes, daisy chains, and swinging are just a few ways kink can be fulfilled. It's about embracing shared pleasure and exploring desires in a dynamic group setting or with multiple partners/lovers.
Exhibitionism
When people or couples enjoy having sex in public or semi-public places for excitement. Think secluded parks, beaches, car parks, or in a hotel with the blinds open in plain view – it's all about the thrill of freedom and the adrenaline of the risk – because let's face it, it's not always exactly legal. This also includes a kink for watching others doing so.
Choking
Also known as edge play or erotic asphyxiation, this kink involves intentionally restricting airflow during sex. Often incorporating restraints or power dynamics to explore boundaries and desires in a consensual and controlled environment. Safety and communication are essential in this edgy exploration of pleasure and trust. If interested, I suggest doing your research, and always start with light pressure for good precaution to minimise risk.
Nipple play
Yes, that’s right, nipple play is a kink! This mostly involves flicking, pinching, licking, biting or sucking. A bit of nipple action can create intense arousal and pleasure, and for some, can even lead to orgasm on its own.
Urolagnia
Also known as 'water sports', a kink all about finding pleasure in urine during sexual activities. While it may seem unconventional to some, for others, it offers a pathway to explore different sensations and desires, including aspects of power dynamics and degradation. Believe it or not, it’s one of the most searched kinks in Australia!
Role-playing
Where pleasure is heightened through playing a character or ‘role’ of someone other than yourself. Think teacher and student, doctor and patient or even alien and astronaut. It's exploring a whole new world of fantasy to get off!
Furries
In this kink or fetish, people enjoy adopting anthropomorphic personas, mixing human traits with animal characteristics. Through costumes and role-playing, furries express creativity and explore identity while indulging in sexual desires. And while the Furry subculture isn't exclusively sexual, some do embrace a sexual side.
Praise kink and worship
A world where adoration and affirmation fuel desire. For those with this kink, pleasure comes from receiving lots of praise and admiration, or from lavishing a partner with worship and devotion. This may involve verbal affirmations such as “Good girl/boy/mummy/daddy” or “You're amazing at xyz”, as well as physical gestures or acts of devotion, including the intimate practice of cock and pussy worship.
Wax play
Involves dripping or pouring hot wax on skin for heightened sexual stimulation, mixing pleasure with a hint of pain. Whether it's with a partner or solo, every drip or pour of wax play builds anticipation and trust, creating a thrilling exploration of sensations.
Orgasm control
A kink centered on deliberate regulation of climax during sex. One partner extends the timing of the other’s orgasm through teasing and denial, or intensifies release through forced orgasms.
Sensational play
A desire to explore sensory experiences to enhance pleasure and arousal during sex. From soft feathers to cool ice, or the intense heat of wax, incorporating toys, tools and Pleasure Wands, this kink involves stimulating the senses through textures, temperatures, or sensory deprivation, whether with a partner or solo.
Voyeurism
It’s all about getting a thrill from watching others get it on, whether it's live, through screens, or in the mirror. It's like being a fly on the wall… a silent spectator soaking in the excitement of someone else's intimate moments.
Exploring your kinkier side, alone or with willing partners, can add excitement, pleasure, and intimacy to your sex life. It's a journey of self-discovery and confidence-building, but always remember: open communication and consent are essential.
However, kink isn't for everyone, and that's okay. Never feel pressured to try it if it doesn't feel right for you. Before trying any new kink, talk openly with everyone involved to ensure everyone's comfort and understanding.
