Sex after kids: how to navigate the ups and downs as parents
Sex after having children is a journey that has the potential to be full of ups and downs. Becoming parents shakes things up in so many different ways - it’s normal and natural to feel a little thrown by the changes!
One of the major challenges new parents face is keeping the intimacy alive and maintaining a healthy libido. The good news is that if a couple are committed to working through the challenges that arise, they can feel closer than ever before in the long run.
Here’s some important things to consider when navigating this season in your life:
Respect
Respecting each person's timing as couples adjust to intimacy after having a baby is crucial - everyone’s experience and needs are unique, no two of us are the same. Whether it's giving the body time to heal or waiting to feel emotionally ready, understanding and supporting these differences is vital for strengthening intimacy after childbirth.
Good Communication & Patience
Good communication and patience are key for staying close during this time. Talking openly helps couples to understand each other better. Understanding each other fosters more intimacy. Expressing needs, desires, and concerns openly, creates a deeper connection between parents, even when physical intimacy may be less frequent. Being patient with oneself and each other is important as you navigate the challenges and changes that come with the postpartum period.
Physical Changes
After having a baby, there’s often some physical changes postpartum that can affect intimacy and sexual satisfaction for both partners. Some common changes are vaginal dryness and reduced sensation. This is very normal, and remember no two women are the same with the challenges they do or don’t face. There’s no rights and wrongs postpartum. Remember to take a lot of time to warm up before penetration, using a natural lubricant if needed (this always makes sex feel more delicious!)
Self Care
Taking care of yourself is really important for both parents who want to keep the intimacy alive after having kids. Prioritising things like exercise, mindfulness, and relaxation into your routine helps both partners feel better, which can lead to better sex and overall happiness.
It's important not to compare yourself to others during the postpartum journey. Everyone's experience is different, and comparison doesn’t contribute to happiness. Instead, accepting your own experience and respecting differences can support you to feel better about yourself and empowers you to navigate postpartum intimacy together.
