Sex & Aftercare

There’s so much focus on the importance of foreplay and the act of sex ... but what about after sex?

The moments immediately after we’ve technically ‘finished’ sex are arguably THE most important moments of all. Aftercare is vital ... it’s the sacred moments when we can choose to take time to rest together in the magic that we made, and enjoy sweet cuddles and kisses and connection time. These moments are an opportunity to give your lover the opportunity to allow emotion to flow, to feel safe and to feel deeply loved.

Here’s tips on how to make that time special and memorable ...

Communicate your needs.

Before sex, especially at the beginning of a new relationship, communicate what you need after sex to feel safe, loved and supported. It may simply be a request not to rush off, or not to check your phone straight away, or to please lay with me and cuddle me. Or please text me later today to ask how I’m feeling. It’s up to you as to what you need. Take some time to think about it and then communicate it clearly to your lover. And if you can’t give your lover what they need after sex, communicate that beforehand.

Take your time.

What’s the rush? Seriously, what’s more important than spending a few moments with your beloved soaking up the after sex vibe? Don’t rush off - to take a shower, or to put the condom in the bin, or to check your phone … I promise you it can all wait, just for a few minutes.

Cuddles and kisses.

Hold your lover, kiss them, tell them how much you appreciate and love them. This may sound simple but it’s often forgotten and it’s so important. And if this part of sex feels like a chore to you, then I invite you to ask yourself why you’re choosing to have sex with this person?

If it’s a quickie you want, say that.

I totally get it, sometimes that’s all there’s room for, or it’s just what you feel like. So communicate that it's what you want, so you're both on the same page with the fact there won’t be any intimate aftercare.