The Art of Fingering
Alright, hands up who's a big fan of fingering?! I feel like people either LOVE IT, or don't.
I was out to lunch with a friend recently and we were talking about how fingering needs to feature more in everyone's sexual repertoire. It seems fingering gets a great run for its money in the teen years, then takes a back seat when other (often bigger) items come into play during penetrative sex. I personally love it, and believe it can bring a lot of pleasure, which is why I'm here to share more on the topic.
Firstly, remember we’re all unique with what we do and don’t enjoy sexually. So if fingering isn’t your thing, that’s okay. If it is, or you’re simply curious to learn more, then keep reading.
Let's define 'fingering'. I define it as using a finger, or fingers, to penetrate either the vagina or anus (or both at the same time, if you're feeling adventurous). Today I’m choosing to focus on fingering the vagina.
Often for many people, 1-2 fingers can feel like the 'sweet spot' when it comes to fingers in the pussy, however some would say the more fingers the better. I'll leave it up to you to decide what's best for you, remembering it may differ depending on the size of the fingers (and the hole it's entering, of course). Either way it’s not all about how many fingers… there’s a skill to fingering, and it doesn’t come naturally to everyone (pardon the pun).
Here’s a few pointers (pardon the pun again!) for those of you who are curious (or wanting to brush up on your skills):
First thing’s first, make sure your hands are clean, and nails are short. I know, boring first tip, but it’s an important step.
Lube up, lots of lube is important. Organic coconut oil is a great option, alongside natural lubricant from the vulva.
Start by warming up the entire body, not just the pussy. You can’t just head down to the vagina and shove your fingers in. That’s a BIG no no! Remember people with vagina’s take TIME to warm up, and being penetrated by fingers is the same as being penetrated by anything else - it’s something we need to be ready for.
Massage the outer labia, and inner labia, tease the vulva without penetrating, and touch the clitoral hood to create anticipation and get your lover ready for penetration.
Fun fact: The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, making it a super sensitive area for stimulation. And despite appearing tiny from the outside, it extends deep into the pelvic area and around the vagina. So once you’ve warmed up the entire body ( lots of kissing, touching, licking etc), then you can begin touching the clit from the outside, and then slowly, and only when your lover is ready, make your way inside their vagina.
See a drawing of the clitoris below…
Keep it simple. You don't need to do finger gymnastics! Seriously, less is more when it comes to the art of fingering.
Begin slowly and take your time to explore and try different speeds, motions and pressures to stimulate. Listen to your lover’s breath, their sounds, the way they move their body when touched … all of these things will give you a good indication of what they’re loving, and what they’re not. And don’t be afraid to ask your lover what their desires are and what do they enjoy.
The G-spot is the spongy area of tissue, found two to three inches inside the vagina's front wall. The most common G-spot stimulation technique is a firm, "come-hither" motion using a finger or two against the vagina’s front wall. You’ll know when you’ve found the spot … people usually find A LOT of pleasure when touched there, and their pleasure sounds and breathing will often be a sign that you found it.
Another fun fact: Vulva owners often find a lot of pleasure having their outer clit stimulated whilst having their g-spot touched internally. It’s not always easy to coordinate the two solo, so a fun recommendation is to encourage your lover to touch their clit, while you finger their pussy (hot!).
Remember not all people love being fingered, and not all people love ‘fingering’ a vagina. So don’t do it because you think it’s the thing to do, do it because you want to, and because they want it.
